COLD NEWS #7

 

MITT THE MACHINE

Why do the Republicans have to keep “humanizing” Mitt Romney?

And what the hell is he, if not human?

Is he from another world, and is there intelligent life on his home planet? Does he need an “Earther” certificate or a technical manual?

During his entire career, first as a CEO at Bain Capitol, then as governor of Massachusetts, Romney and his controllers have attempted to humanize, reintroduce and reinvent him. His consistent image problem, of being an automaton or robotic mannequin has followed him everywhere.

There is the ever present need to re-reinvent and create a positive “Mitt-making machine” to counter the observations of journalists, and friendly observers that even when he looks genuine, he still seems fake.

It’s as if he is a new or previously unknown species of human/machine hybrid that has infiltrated the human community and people can smell his machine-ness.

Keep in mind that synthetic humans have been the fodder of sci-fi writers from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein to 250 years of futurists dating back to the Industrial Revolution. But Mitt is more than “extra” human or “uber” man. He could be the product of Detroit, separated from the rest of us by add on parts and hostile programming to become the perfect 21^st century Manchurian Candidate. Is “Mitt the Machine” the product of his dad’s defunct American Motors, remember the always unreliable and aptly named Gremlin?

Perhaps that’s why he constantly blurts out some inadvertent candor like a misfiring machine or bad robot. When he tells people he’d enjoy firing them is it bad wiring? When he reminds people that corporations are somehow like them, is it the result of systemic inauthenticity?

How can we tell if he is, literally, a piece of technology or just a badly programmed sociopathic “people person.” Remember the human hunting cyborgs of Terminator were only detectable by dogs, who could smell their machine-ness. Maybe that’s why he tortured his dog by chaining him to the roof of his car. Maybe Mitt couldn’t pass his dog’s sniff test, and the dog was about to blow his cover.